Advanced Directives

My life is centered around my family. I love the conversations that fill our home.

Daily before bedtime, I ask each member of my family “What was the best thing and the worst thing that happened to you today?” I love to hear their answers. I ask about both the best and the worst because I want to know about the things that bring them joy, the things that bring them pain, and the things that they are worried about.

Throughout the years that I have been in healthcare I have learned many things by observing the families that I am serving. One of the most important lessons that I have learned is to have conversations that count before a crisis. I have tried to live that out. I vividly remember at the age of 30 before I had my first child completing my advanced directives. Having children made certain things real for me. I didn’t want my husband or my children to ever have to make difficult choices for me if I was facing a life threatening condition. I didn’t want them to feel guilty or scared that they may have made the wrong decisions on my behalf.

Every adult should have an advanced directive (also known as a living will and durable power of attorney for health care). An advanced directive is simply your written instructions about your future medical care. I have found over the years many people do not have an advanced directive because they are fearful about having honest conversation about both their desires and fears regarding end of life issues. It is also especially hard for adult children to sit down with their aging parents to encourage them to put their wishes in writing.

Remember, you cannot assume that you know what someone else needs or wants. So before you start any conversation keep in mind that the purpose of the conversation is not to impose your ideas on others but to learn what your family members think about their own end of life choices. There are many things that occur in daily life that can give you an opportunity to start conversations within your family. Conversation triggers can include the death of a friend or colleague, movies, sermons, annual medical checkups, and, of course funerals.

You can obtain a living will and durable power of attorney for health care from your local hospital, an attorney or from the Idaho Secretary of State. You may also call our office by dialing HOS-PICE on your telephone pad (467-7423). Once your advanced directive is complete and you have discussed it with your family, be sure to share this information with your physician. This will increase the likelihood that your advanced directive is honored.

Ultimately, this process is about more than completing the advanced directive. That matters, because it will guide final actions. However, what matters most is the actual conversation with the people you love so you can honor their wishes, come to terms with inevitable loss, and honor the cycle of life.